Hiding feelings, based on my experience, is not a bad thing. Sometimes, it is really better to keep things hidden. Let us talk about the most common reasons why people hide their feelings.
I am wondering why you want to know why people hide their feelings. Are you hiding your feelings and want to know why? There is a huge possibility that it is because you don’t want to be rejected.
If that is the case, did you know that there are relationships that could begin by simply removing the fear of rejection from the picture?
Here are 6 most common reasons why people hide their feelings:
- They want to protect themselves.
- It hurts to know that the feeling is not mutual.
- The person they like seems out of their league.
- People made them believe that feelings are for the weak.
- They dislike the person they have feelings for.
- Things are going well and they want to preserve the peace.
Let’s begin.
6 Most Common Reasons Why People Hide Their Feelings
There are a lot of reasons why people hide their feelings and most, if not all, of them involve one thing: fear of getting hurt.
Hiding feelings isn’t new. I am assuming (although this could be the case) that all people ages 20 and above have already done it at least once.
Note that by feelings I mean romantic feelings that are not just on the surface. The feelings don’t necessarily have to be love because it is possible to have feelings for someone and not love them.
Glamour has published an article that enumerates the types of romantic feelings one can feel aside from being in love. It could be a simple crush or maybe you just care about them, and many more.
They also may or may not include crushes because, you see, some crushes are based on physical attraction and those are not as big of a deal.
The thing is, the more serious the feelings, the more we feel the need to hide them, especially if we are not sure if the other person feels the same way.
That is the reason why it is much easier to make moves on someone you are surface-level attracted to than someone you have feelings for: You won’t get hurt emotionally as there are no feelings involved.
It may hurt your ego, though!
Having feelings for someone is synonymous with giving that someone the power to inflict pain. Some people don’t want to be or seem powerless, so they act like they don’t have feelings at all.
But power is an ego thing. If you want to give and receive love, you shouldn’t let your ego rule and block your heart.
Without further ado, here are the reasons why people hide their feelings.
1. They want to protect themselves.
There are people who take advantage of people who have feelings for them, and some people hide their feelings because they don’t want to be taken advantage of.
People who take advantage of people who have feelings for them are usually people who have unhealthy self-esteem.
People who have unhealthy self-esteem seek validation from others, and one solid way for them to feel validated is by being liked by other people in a romantic way.
According to PsychCentral, people with low self-esteem seek validation because they don’t feel good enough and have a fear of being rejected by society, among many others.
Again, having feelings for someone is synonymous with giving that someone the power to inflict pain.
Power. People who have self-esteem issues want to have power over other people because that makes them feel good.
They can’t love themselves, so they use other people’s love to boost their ego.
In a relationship, they will control and manipulate, and even abuse. If you do something that they don’t like, they will do things that you won’t like.
They will make you feel powerless, and it is because they “should” be more powerful than you.
But this could be the other way around. Some people hide their feelings to control, manipulate, and abuse the person they have feelings for. This usually happens in relationships.
In unhealthy relationships, the one who is not more invested and has “less” feelings has more power.
2. It hurts to know that the feeling is not mutual.
Most people don’t get to experience being loved back, and although it is sad, not all feelings are supposed to be reciprocated with the same kind of feelings.
If people were supposed to love all the people who love them, then there would be no loyal people anymore.
Basically, some people choose to hide their feelings because they know that it will hurt them if the feeling is not mutual. No one wants to get a broken heart on purpose, you see.
Heard of broken heart syndrome? You may be thinking that a broken heart caused by separation, rejection, or abandonment is not a big deal. However, Mayo Clinic says that it could lead to death!
Even though confessing their feelings will make things easier for them, it is just not easy to deal with pain.
But I still encourage you to confess if there are unsaid feelings within you.
A broken heart may not be sweet, but it is much better to know your place than to wonder whether or not you have a chance.
Knowing that a person doesn’t feel the same way is much better than wondering what that person feels about you. It will quiet your mind.
3. The person they like seems out of their league.
There was a line from a Japanese movie I watched in the past that is noteworthy. It went like this: Whether or not you have a chance is up to the other person.
In other words, don’t reject yourself.
Another reason why people hide feelings is that the person they like seems out of their league.
Sometimes, those people who you think are out of your league aren’t really out of your league. They might even be thinking that it is you who is out of their league.
I agree that there are people who are better than other people in terms of wealth, beauty, educational attainment, and others, but not all people are all about those things.
Some of those people who you think are above you care more about who you are than what you have.
You can make a person fall in love just by being a good and responsible citizen of the world, didn’t you know that?
Brides says there are other factors apart from love that are needed to make a relationship work, such as honesty, individuality, quality time, and respecting each other’s goals and choices.
So, if you are suppressing your feelings for someone because you aren’t a millionaire yet, who said that you should be a millionaire first before you let your feelings deepen?
If it is you, let go of your limiting beliefs. If it is the other person, is that the kind of love that will make you happy?
Do you want someone who loves you for your money but not for who you are?
Who will support you when you can’t support yourself anymore? Who will be with you when you don’t have anything anymore? Whose shoulder will you cry on when you can’t take it anymore?
Who will remember you when you are not here anymore?
4. People made them believe that feelings are for the weak.
Some people hide their feelings because they think it is associated with weakness.
People who are closed off were once open about their feelings, and that’s what you should remember before you judge them.
I am closed off, and even though I couldn’t care less whenever someone points out how “serious” I am, I can’t help but wonder if they even wonder why.
Many of the emotionally unavailable people can be comfortable with their emotions. If you want to help someone be more open, mindbodygreen has some helpful tips.
The problem with most people nowadays is that they are against emotions. I understand that there are emotions that are too much, but sometimes, people just want someone who will sit beside them and listen.
This is not news because, for sure, they themselves want to rely on someone sometimes.
People won’t admit to this, but they want someone they can be comfortable opening up to.
You will find a lot of forums and platforms online where people are asking for help or complaining that no one listens to them.
5. They dislike the person they have feelings for.
If someone is hiding their feelings, it might be because they don’t like the person they have feelings for.
It’s possible to have feelings for someone you don’t like because some feelings just appear out of the blue, against your will.
These feelings are the feelings you won’t be proud to have, so you will hide them. You don’t want them to exist, so you will do everything to make them disappear.
However, you won’t be able to make the feelings disappear by wanting them to disappear because that’s not how things work in the emotions department.
Just live with them until they fade naturally, if they fade at all.
6. Things are going well and they want to preserve the peace.
Many people hide their feelings to avoid ruining the situation. That’s a good thing because it shows that they are sensitive enough to know that their actions have an impact.
However, people who keep everything to themselves to maintain the peace around them are prone to ruining themselves.
Bottling up emotions could lead to depression and other mental illnesses, and even death. If there is anything that bothers you and you are on the verge of a breakdown, talk to someone you trust.
Last Words
Hiding feelings, based on my experience, is not a bad thing. Sometimes, it is really better to keep things hidden. Some things are really better left unsaid.
That is actually a sign of maturity. If you know when to speak and when to be quiet, it shows that you pay attention to your surroundings, especially the mood of the people around you.
But if the feelings that you keep to yourself is already too much to the point that you are thinking of killing yourself, please find the courage to talk.
Now you know why people hide feelings!
If you enjoyed reading the most common reasons why people hide their feelings, here is a video of me talking about them:
