My mom told me that the most important thing in life is peace of mind, more important than money. I agree because it is hard to live happily without a clear conscience. But are you wondering why good people are sad?
Before we talk about why good people are sad, do you know why there are a lot of people who do bad things? It is because there are people who love doing bad things.
Those who are cold-hearted became cold-hearted because a cold-hearted person hurt them. Some selfish people became selfish because there were people who took advantage of their generosity.
There is a domino effect.
Being a good person has a lot of disadvantages, but I still believe that it is easier to be happy if you are on the good side. I have been hurt many times because of my “goodness,” but my conscience is clear.
Here are reasons why good people are sad:
- People take advantage of good people.
- People see your kindness as a weakness.
- If it is better to give than to receive, then why don’t they give?
- You are prone to acquiring a deep emotional wound.
Let’s begin.
Why Good People Are Sad
As much as I want to consider myself a good person, I would rather be called a person who does a lot of good things.
I don’t do bad things on purpose, but some of the things that I do can be painful to some people. I can be a bad person sometimes.
For instance, I am too honest and straightforward, and even though I am just telling it like it is, the truth hurts, so I hurt people.
That’s why I don’t speak all the time and don’t react fast: I don’t want to hurt people with my words no matter how bad they are.
There are good people, but it is a misconception that good people are saintly. There isn’t any person in the world who is purely good.
We are humans, and humans are capable of doing both good and bad things.
Some people just are not conscientious enough, so they don’t feel bad about doing terrible and inhumane things — until it is time to pay the piper.
According to Psychology Today, not all people who hurt people apologize, but it is not always because they can’t feel for others. It is hard to say sorry.
It is also a misconception that bad people are purely bad. Bad people have good sides, too. If you look deep into why they became bad people, you will find that there is more than meets the eye.
Without further ado, here are reasons why good people are sad.
1. People take advantage of good people.
Why are good people sad? Because people take advantage of them.
I have been taken advantage of many times in my life because I am generally kind, understanding, and helpful.
I am already tired of it, which is why the idea of being alone until I die seems interesting to me. I don’t enjoy talking to and being with people.
But it’s partly because I am an introvert.
Not all of those I ignore took advantage of me, though. But I don’t have the energy to socialize because of those people who did.
People who take advantage of other people are not fun to be with. And when you have met a lot of them in your life, it becomes hard to trust people.
Hack Spirit says that people who take advantage of people are entitled.
My trust issues have gotten worse, and I panic every time someone does something I find unusual or anything like that. I am now more selectively social.
I have to take care of my mental and emotional health.
If you are one of those people who take advantage of other people, I want to let you know that what you are doing harms others.
You are a horrible person if you don’t care.
2. People see your kindness as a weakness.
If you want to be kind to that person who isn’t treating you right because you don’t want to hurt other people as you know that harsh words cut deep, you have to control your emotions.
Self-control is hard, so if there is anyone here who is weak, that is the rude person.
I had anger management issues before, so I know that it is easier to shout when you are mad, insult people when they provoke you, be vengeful when someone did you wrong, and stab someone in the back when they did something you didn’t like than deal with them in a calm manner to resolve the issues in a mature way.
Verywell Health says having anger management issues is a sign that someone is emotionally immature. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, look for someone who knows how to manage their emotions.
I still get mad because I am still human, but I deal with the issues by talking to the person without letting my emotions get the best of me.
If they don’t want to cooperate, I give them time to think things through. If they still don’t want to cooperate after that, I cut them off.
The point is, kindness isn’t always a weakness.
Some of those who stay kind no matter the situation are mature enough to know that problems won’t be solved by running away from them, by hurting the other person involved, or with brute force.
3. If it is better to give than to receive, then why don’t they give?
I agree that it is better to give than to receive, but it is funny when the person saying that loves to receive more than to give.
Even though I am not expecting anything in return whenever I give, being generous to people who think that it is my obligation to be generous to them is exhausting.
I am overly generous, but being an over-giver is not good as there are people who will exploit you. You should set strong boundaries.
If you can’t set strong boundaries, choose the people you will be generous to.
Medical News Today has published an article about how to set boundaries, which you can read if you want to not be taken advantage of.
Don’t help for the sake of helping. Help because they need help and they deserve your help. That is to say that there are struggling people you should ignore.
Let them struggle and help themselves. You are not a superhero. You weren’t born to save humanity. You have to protect your sanity to be happy.
4. You are prone to acquiring a deep emotional wound.
When you are a good person, you are prone to acquiring a deep emotional wound because you keep the pain caused by every hurtful thing other people did to you to yourself.
You don’t want to hurt people because you know how it feels to get hurt, and you don’t want them to feel that, so you bottle a lot of things up.
Also, just because you are good to people doesn’t mean that they will be good to you, and that hurts as well.
I experienced betrayal more than five times, and I still cry whenever I think of that. Such painful experiences. I am having a hard time breathing whenever the pain resurfaces.
According to Psychology Today, betrayal can be traumatic, but it can be forgiven if genuine remorse is seen.
It is hard to be happy when you are wounded. And this is the reason why I believe emotional satisfaction is more important than material success.
Even if you have a lot of money, if you feel empty inside, you will not be happy.
What Makes a Person Good
So, we have talked about the reasons why good people are sad. Now, what makes a person good?
As much as I don’t want to put labels on people, there are good people and bad people. However, you can’t say that someone is bad because of that one bad thing they did.
This issue is deeper than a lot of people think. You have to look into the different sides of the story because it is absurd to determine someone’s nature based on one thing alone.
As I said, no one is purely good or bad. Good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things.
If you want to be reasonable when judging others, judge based on facts and not on your experience with them or how you feel about them.
Some of those who do bad things just have unresolved issues within them.
According to Inc., good people usually don’t realize it when they do bad things because the force that pushes them to do it is good from their perspective.
I myself know that those people who hurt me aren’t bad people. Some of them are just hurting deep inside or can’t foresee the possible consequences of their actions.
So, even though it is hard to forgive, I still do it. I also hurt people after all, and that doesn’t mean that I am a bad person.
To others, actions speak louder than words. To me, both actions and words matter, but intentions speak louder than them.
If someone does good things but has ulterior, selfish motives, that’s not good. But if someone does bad things but has good intentions, that can be either good or bad, depending on the whole story.
The thing is, sometimes, what we think is bad is not bad at all. We are just too affected emotionally to see things clearly.
Personally, I would rather be with people who hurt me with honesty than people who are nice to me but secretly hope that I suffer.
Those people who want me to suffer are not necessarily bad, though. Maybe they are just insecure, jealous, or threatened, but I don’t consider them bad.
But that is not to say that I will want to be with them. And you don’t have to be with those kinds of people, too. Again, peace of mind is important.
Last Words
Don’t hurt people intentionally if you want to be happy. There is no direct relationship between happiness and goodness. As a matter of fact, many good people are sad rather than happy.
But you have to have a clear conscience if you want to be happy. It is difficult to live the rest of your life with a smile if you feel too much guilt. Right?
Why are good people sad? They care about bad people!
If you enjoyed reading why good people are sad and what makes a person good, here is a video of me talking about bad people and good people, heaven and hell:
