You can send me thousands of messages and call me thousands of times, and I will not be bothered. Wondering about the toxic traits of introverts caused by their introversion?
I don’t do bad things to people, and it is because I couldn’t care less about them. That is one of the toxic traits of introverts that is also good.
No one is hurting. Great. Not unless they want your attention, and you can’t give it to them. That hurts.
I think introverts are generally kinder than extroverts. We don’t ask people why they are so loud, nor do we force them to do things they are not in the mood for.
However, I think we have traits that are toxic if we analyze them. Here are the toxic traits of introverts caused by their introversion:
- They ignore people on purpose and don’t feel bad about it.
- They secretly hope that an event gets canceled because they changed their mind and don’t want to go anymore.
- There are things they don’t say but should.
- There are friends in their circle they don’t vibe with, and they secretly hate those friends.
- They have feelings for you but you will not know it because they are shy or not in the mood to be involved in any romantic situation at the moment.
Let’s begin.
5 Toxic Traits of Introverts Caused by Their Introversion
I am an introvert, and I don’t hide it. I also don’t hide that I love ignoring people and cutting them off if needed. I am a toxic introvert sometimes.
I have met many introverts, and I live with some (my brothers are introverts), and I see that we care about people.
We are sensitive to their feelings, and we are willing to give them what they need — time, money, things.
But we love our alone time, and there are times when we don’t feel bad about making others feel bad by pushing them away. That is despite our desire to please.
I don’t aim to please others now, but my life revolved around pleasing other people years ago.
I think I should use my past self as the basis for this post because my kind of introversion now has a tinge of apathy. My life circumstances made me less empathetic.
Back then, I was the average introvert. Shy, had low self-esteem, had zero confidence, couldn’t fight for myself, couldn’t stop caring about what people thought of me, was scared of being alone, etc.
According to Medical News Today, having an avoidant personality may make a person not feel anything for everyone, so they can ignore them without feeling bad about it.
I wasn’t ignoring people as much as I do now, but I wanted to be at home, stayed quiet in many situations, hated some of my friends, and hid my feelings.
Those are harmless but could be toxic if overdone.
And I overdid those. I canceled plans to stay home, hadn’t spoken when I should have, hated my friends in secret, and made hiding my feelings a habit.
But even though these traits could be considered toxic, keep in mind that the reason for doing any of these is not really bad.
Let us talk about the toxic traits of introverts in detail. Toxic introverts exist!
1. They ignore people on purpose and don’t feel bad about it.
Extroverts also ignore people, but they are social and can’t do that for a long time.
When I was in college, we had an acquaintance party, and it was held in a nightclub. It was *that* kind of nightclub, but the managers made it more student-friendly, so nothing intense happened.
Until midnight, and my parents picked me up by midnight.
When I was still there in the venue, I was just in a corner watching people. People were having fun, dancing and laughing so loud.
Usually, what catches people’s attention are those who do attention-seeking things like dancing and laughing so loud.
But because everyone was doing that, the person in the corner, the one who seemed out of place, stood out. I gained more attention than I wanted.
Some asked me why I wasn’t joining the fun, and some were teasing me to drink alcohol and do some dancing.
Introverts are reserved, quiet people who can’t stay in crowded places for too long. Verywell Mind shares signs of an introverted personality.
I refused, many times, without feeling bad about it. But that was just mild ignoring I did. I can’t be called a toxic introvert just for that.
Currently, you can send me thousands of messages and call me thousands of times, and I will not be bothered unless you are my mom or my brothers.
And I won’t feel bad about it. Now, that is toxic.
2. They secretly hope that an event gets canceled because they changed their mind and don’t want to go anymore.
Ask my friends how many times I made last-minute excuses so that I could stay at home instead of joining them in whatever activity they set.
You will see the annoyance on their face before you hear them say, “Too many to remember!”
I am the kind of person who cancels plans at the last minute. And one event that I remember was when we were supposed to visit a museum or something.
My friends were already at the meeting place, and I was at home in bed. I texted them that I had an emergency, but that emergency was “sudden laziness.”
My friends still remember that day because it was frustrating to them, but we just laugh when we talk about it.
According to Talkspace, people who like plans getting canceled may be dealing with a mental health issue that they may or may not be aware of.
I don’t always cancel plans, though. But I admit that many of my trips whether it be with my friends or my family felt exhausting to me because I just forced myself.
I genuinely felt excited that’s why I said yes yesterday, but waking up earlier than usual and wearing clothes more decent than my everyday clothes today is an unexciting process.
Believe me, they are different.
But when I say yes now for something that will happen now, I want it to happen now. If you cancel it, I will be mad at you.
Double standards. Toxic.
3. There are things they don’t say but should.
I am more comfortable writing my thoughts than talking about them with another person, and that has been the case even before.
I have removed the blocks that prevent me from speaking up that’s why I can say whatever I want, but I was careful not to say too much years ago.
I couldn’t even blog properly because I was afraid of how I would be perceived. My writings were too dramatic.
Of course, all people regardless of whether they are introverts or extroverts have things they keep to themselves.
But introverts don’t talk about even non-emotional and non-personal things.
For example, extroverts can easily participate in class recitations, but introverts have trouble doing that.
Personally, I couldn’t even read a passage from a book in front of the class.
My social anxiety might be the reason, and that’s the thing. Almost all introverts have social anxiety. They are not comfortable doing things around people or that will make them the center of attention.
In this article by Mayo Clinic, socially anxious people are uncomfortable with any social activities, even as simple as saying “hello” to someone.
Why is that one of the toxic traits of introverts?
They are forced to do extroverted things and they don’t like that. But they won’t talk about any discomfort that they feel, and that will result in their resentment.
I mentioned that I pooped in my skirt in high school. It happened because I was scared to interrupt the teacher. She was discussing something.
I also thought pooping within the school campus was embarrassing. Funny because to avoid embarrassment, a more embarrassing event occurred.
4. There are friends in their circle they don’t vibe with, and they secretly hate those friends.
Honestly, I don’t vibe with all of my friends because they are too much for me: too loud, too noisy, and too bothersome. Oops, are those the same?
I don’t hate talkative people if they are not talking to me. If their talkativeness is directed at me, that’s when they become a pain in the neck.
I can be talkative at home because this is my comfort zone. I also tend to send long paragraphs because it is my job to type long paragraphs, you know.
But I am a quiet person.
Right now, actually, I am writing this in my bed. Windows closed. It is 10:48 in the morning, and I am alone.
My friends are busy with their work, and I don’t talk with most of my friends from school anymore, so my phone is quiet.
I am practicing digital minimalism. If you want to improve your life, I suggest you read Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism and lessen your internet use.
This kind of silence will make others go crazy, but I love this more than socializing with my friends. Most of them will just question how I live my life.
I secretly hate those friends who force me to be extroverted. But it is not a secret anymore because I just said it.
5. They have feelings for you but you will not know it because they are shy or not in the mood to be involved in any romantic situation at the moment.
In How Introverts Fall in Love, I mentioned that some introverts don’t confess their feelings because they enjoy being a secret admirer.
There is a thrill in staring at your crush if they are not looking as well as stalking their social media profiles and assuming that the love quotes they share are for you.
People like that exist, and most of them are hopeless romantic introverts.
Hopeless romantics love the idea of love. mindbodygreen shares signs you might be one.
But because they are after the thrill, if they discover that the feeling is mutual, they start losing feelings for that person.
They are playing the love game, which may have devastating consequences for them or the other person, or both.
Last Words
Did you know that the majority of murderers are introverted? I think that it is because they take in more than they take out.
People judge them and there is just so much that they can handle. Once they can’t take it anymore, they become violent.
All the resentment that they feel from when they were maybe 7 years old up to that point of outburst will make them want to kill someone.
Have you met toxic introverts?
If you enjoyed reading about the toxic traits of introverts, here is a video of me talking about the times I was a toxic introvert:
