It feels good when you are standing out in the crowd. It is an ego booster. But your ego can’t protect you from people who have strong animalistic urges, so that is one of the pretty problems.
Being attractive has disadvantages. Curious about the pretty problems? Before that, I would like to commend my audacity to write about this. I sure have too much confidence.
I won’t say I am pretty because you would raise your eyebrows at me if I did. But many people find me attractive, and I don’t like it 100%.
There are downsides to being good-looking that people think are good. Here are the pretty problems because beautiful people struggle, too:
- Strangers will sit next to you. Some may even touch you.
- They will look at your body, and you will feel uncomfortable.
- You are not sure whether people like you because of you or your looks.
- Some people will hate you even though you didn’t do anything to them.
- Many people will think you don’t have brains.
Let’s begin.
5 Pretty Problems Because Being Attractive Has Disadvantages
I am not the prettiest person you will ever meet, but I could catch your eye. You might find me pretty.
I am not bragging, don’t hate me. The thing is, I have eyes, so I can see that many people around me stare at me whenever I pass by them.
Some even make moves on me, and it makes me cringe sometimes. I am not judging them. Situations like that scare me because, the thing is, what if they rape me?
People who don’t catch people’s attention may find those kinds of things very pleasant. I myself wanted it when I was unattractive. I wanted to be a head-turner.
Now that it is happening, there are times when I wish I were average because it is not good to be objectified and sexualized.
Of course, it is not just the pretty ones based on society’s standards who experience objectification. But in reality, they experience it more than anyone else.
The Conversation says if women experience objectification a lot of times, they become too focused on their physical appearance, which makes them develop psychological problems.
There may be many advantages to being attractive, but there are lots of worries, too. Pretty problems exist.
I had been ugly and average, and I will not deny that being attractive feels good. It feels good when you are standing out in the crowd. It is an ego booster!
But your ego can’t protect you from people who have strong animalistic urges. And this is especially a huge worry of mine because I am saving myself for marriage.
Let’s dive in. Here are the pretty problems because being attractive has disadvantages contrary to many people’s beliefs.
1. Strangers will sit next to you. Some may even touch you.
I have experienced this many times, back in college and even now.
When I was a college student, I was commuting from Bulacan to Manila via public transportation, so I was meeting many strangers every day.
Public transportation here was poor and overly crowded. Some strangers simply sat next to me, but some dared to touch me.
I experienced this, too, when I went to Hong Kong, so this could happen anywhere you are.
In Hong Kong, there was a guy who touched my butt, and I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want to cause a scene in a foreign country. I couldn’t speak and understand Chinese!
According to Psychology Today, one of the reasons why victims of sexual harassment don’t speak up sooner is minimization. They don’t think it is a big deal. This is usually the case for me.
No one dares to touch me now because I gained the courage to be willing to physically attack them when they do, and my facial expression tells them that.
But there are still people who come near me on purpose, sit next to me on purpose, and smile at me in a creepy way. I will not move if they don’t move, though.
2. They will look at your body, and you will feel uncomfortable.
I don’t have the perfect body, but I hate it when people look at it. So, whenever I go out, I don’t wear above-the-knee shorts or anything that makes some *exclusive* parts of my body exposed.
I wear modest clothes, but not old-fashioned modest. I have been doing that since I was a teenager.
I was “sheltered,” so I was naive. I knew that many people engage in premarital sex only a few years after I left college. I really didn’t think about sex even during puberty, so I never looked at anyone in a sexual way.
I thought everyone was saving themselves for marriage.
In this article by A Conscious Rethink, “sheltered” people are those who have helicopter parents or who grow up in a religious environment. I am both, being the only daughter in a traditional Filipino family.
You might be thinking that being looked at is harmless, but it affects a person psychologically. I feel like they will do something bad to me every time they (particularly men) do that.
It is okay if they stare at my face, but staring at anything below my face is a different case. Goosebumps!
Among the pretty problems, I think this is the scariest. Crimes that are sexual and lustful by nature happen all over the world, frequently.
3. You are not sure whether people like you because of you or your looks.
When I was unattractive, men didn’t like me, so if a man approached me now, I would think he did that because of my looks.
I don’t want to be liked for my looks. I want to be liked because of who I am. I also don’t want to be liked because of what I can do. Like me for my personality.
One thing being unattractive taught me is that there is more to people than meets the eye.
Back then, because I wasn’t attractive enough to catch people’s eyes, I wished for them to see what I had to offer. I wanted them to look inside me and see that my personality wasn’t as bad.
Healthline says being emotionally attracted to someone can make your relationship last longer. Not just romantic relationships but all kinds. It is based on vulnerability, common interests, and comfort.
I had issues, but I wouldn’t have had issues if people had treated me better.
Two people liked me back then, but more people didn’t, and they even played with my heart. They thought I deserved to be played.
I became a part of a bet without even knowing it. Someone took advantage of my feelings and used me as a human bridge to connect him to a girl.
That is the sad thing about being the ugly one: People think that you don’t have feelings or that you deserve to be fooled, disrespected, and criticized.
They think they are superior to you, so they feel like it is okay for them to treat you inhumanely. So terrible people.
4. Some people will hate you even though you didn’t do anything to them.
I am not sure if there are people who hate me now. But back in college, many did, and some of them I never talked to.
Basically, they hate you because you get more attention than them. One person in particular came to mind. I was good to her, but because people favored me over her, she hated me.
She was always comparing herself to me, and because she didn’t like that I was better than her, she hated me.
According to Healthline, when we compare, we compare our flaws to other people’s strengths. This is why it makes us feel bad.
She was kind to me, but when I wasn’t around and she was in the mood to talk about me, she was putting emphasis on the bad things.
I never hated her for that because I knew where she was coming from. But whenever she does something good to me now, I have doubts: Is she being genuine or not?
She didn’t like the fact that I existed. It wasn’t my fault that people liked me more than her. But to her, it was my fault.
5. Many people will think you don’t have brains.
Lastly, one of the pretty problems that I find unfair is that other people think that attractive people are not smart, or they expect them not to be smart.
Insecure people are envious, so they will find faults in those people who look perfect even though no one is and can ever be perfect.
Sometimes, they will point out their physical flaws, and they will really look for flaws. A group of people made fun of my pointed chin, for one.
Psychology Today says that people insult others so they can be in a higher position than the person insulted.
I just said, “My pointed chin doesn’t make me ugly.” After that, they stopped.
Other times, they will insist there is something wrong with your personality, intellect, etc. Some people called me weird. They decided to attack my introversion.
I wasn’t an outstanding student, but I wasn’t dumb and weird.
Last Words
My ultimate fear right now is being raped or sexually violated. You may be against this, but I am protective of my “virginity.” I am saving myself for marriage.
The reason why I usually wear running shoes and comfortable clothes outside is that I want to be able to run when I need to. Or punch them when I need to. It is hard to be a woman.
Pretty problems exist. Being attractive has disadvantages!
If you enjoyed reading about pretty problems, here is a video of me talking about the pretty problems I deal with every time I am surrounded by people:
