Is honesty rare? One reason why people lie is that they think honesty is rare, so there is no use in being honest. Consequently, no honest person can be found on Earth. *toot toot toot*
Is honesty rare? Someone said, “Thank you for being honest.” When I read the message, I was surprised because why was he grateful for my honesty?
He must have dealt with lots of lies.
I don’t think honesty is rare, but I think there are more dishonest people than honest ones. All people lie, but some are worse than others.
Okay, here are the most common reasons why people lie:
- They are insecure and want to hide it.
- They don’t want to be a burden to other people.
- They feel like other people will not accept them for who they are.
- They don’t want to disrupt the status quo.
- Some lies are harmless and can make others feel better.
- Telling the truth will cause them harm.
Let’s begin.
Is Honesty Rare? 5 Honest Reasons Why People Lie
I had not paid attention to whether the people I interacted with were honest with me until I met the person who thanked me for being honest.
I knew that there were dishonest people around me, but it wasn’t a big deal. I lie, too, so I don’t take it seriously when people lie to me.
Is honesty rare? All people tell the truth, but different truths to different people.
For example, I think my little brother’s YouTube thumbnails are ugly, but I tell him they look great because I need to motivate him. Supportive sister here!
I think my little brother was born so that I could practice being a mother. If you have a child and you want them to grow up well, KidsHealth shares steps to more effective parenting.
I tell you the truth: that I find them ugly. I tell him the lie: that they look great. Where do I fall? Am I honest or a liar? It is complicated, right?
If you have a wife or a girlfriend, you tell her she looks great in the outfit or that her hairstyle looks perfect. But deep inside, you think it looks bad.
Are you a liar? Even though you tell your bros the truth because they likely are lying to their wives and girlfriends, too, in similar ways?
Honesty is not rare. Most likely, what made you ask that impossible question is your disappointment when you discovered someone lied to you.
But that someone who lied to you might be telling the truth to others, just like you lie to some people and tell the truth to some people.
Those who tell you that honesty is rare haven’t looked at the issue thoroughly. Or they have not looked at themselves deeply enough.
Now that the rarity of honesty has been debunked, let us talk about why people lie!
1. They are insecure and want to hide it.
Back then, I had low self-esteem and more imperfections than I currently have. I didn’t want to be seen as someone at a lower level than others, so I lied.
The major lie I kept telling myself back then was this: “How can I be insecure when I am better than them?” That was not the truth, of course.
I was too insecure to the point of self-destruction, so I faked a part of my identity!
Tiny Buddha says that social media is a field where people like showcasing only the best parts of themselves.
I bought things that would make me look respectable. I also spent money for social media likes. I was a broke person willing to go broker for others.
My past self had a disgusting personality. I am now in my right mind, and if my past self appeared in front of me, I would flick her back into the past.
2. They don’t want to be a burden to other people.
“I am fine.” You heard that many times. You also said that many times.
But that is not the only lie people say when they don’t want to be a burden. That is just the most common. It is so common that it becomes automated.
We say it without a single thought. If I meet you somewhere and ask you how you are, you will say you are fine faster than a cheetah. *woosh*
According to Britannica, cheetahs are the fastest land animals, and they “routinely reach velocities of 80 to 100 km per hour while pursuing prey.”
But I have a question: How do you feel right now?
I think people in this category are those who we see smiling, laughing, telling jokes, and generally looking like they don’t have problems.
I am talking about that funny friend you have! Or it could be you!
3. They feel like other people will not accept them for who they are.
Another reason why people lie is that they feel like others will not accept them for who they are. Social rejection is painful!
I met liars who lied because they thought I would judge or refuse to talk to them if I knew who they were. But I have faults, too, so I wouldn’t do that.
I will not judge them no matter how terrible their life story is. Usually, it is terrible only from their perspective. We are our own worst critics!
You need to learn self-compassion to go easy on yourself. A Conscious Rethink has a guide on how to stop being hard on yourself.
So, there are people who lie because they want to be accepted by others.
If you are one of them, I want to say that how you see yourself is not the same as how others see you. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Some people may reject you when they hear your embarrassing moments, but many people don’t care. We have embarrassing moments, too!
4. They don’t want to disrupt the status quo.
Think of cheating. When people cheat, they don’t tell a lot of people about it, especially their current partner. Why?
The reason is that they want to have someone they can go back to once they become tired, or when things don’t go in a favorable direction.
5. Some lies are harmless and can make others feel better.
Some lies are harmless. Fake compliments, for example. I think all of us have told lies to make other people feel better.
There is nothing wrong with that, but let us not overdo it. Sometimes, people must hear criticism as long as it is constructive.
I don’t give fake compliments unless you are a child who gets motivated with a simple “wow.” I don’t criticize either. But I give feedback, and it is of positive nature.
Mind Tools says that people don’t try because they are afraid of what people will say if they fail. You are more likely to experience this if you had to deal with criticism at a young age.
If something didn’t live up to my expectations, instead of saying that I didn’t like it, I would appreciate the effort put into it or emphasize the tiny good things.
I would want my efforts to be appreciated, too, if I were in that person’s position. I heard destructive criticism once at work, and I quit that job.
6. Telling the truth will cause them harm.
Why people lie? Telling the truth will cause them harm!
If they share too much information about themselves, people with bad intentions might use it to harm them or make them uncomfortable.
People are scared of opening up as it leaves them vulnerable to judgment. SocialSelf shares reasons why you should open up and ways to do it.
I do online shopping a lot, but because most of the delivery persons are men, I don’t use my name but the name of my younger brother.
Some were creepy, and they made me feel uncomfortable!
They know my home address, email address, and mobile number. They can come here and do terrible things to me if they want to.
Months ago, many unknown mobile numbers called me many times on random days. That stressed me out, and scared me. So, I needed to lie!
Last Words
Is honesty rare? I believe not, but I think that is a wrong question because all people lie. A person can be honest in one situation, and a liar in another.
People are multidimensional. They can do bad things and good things. They can tell truths and lies. If someone lies to you, it doesn’t mean they lie to others.
Look at yourself. You may consider yourself an honest person, but didn’t you tell a lie even once in your life? Even a white lie? Be honest!
Is honesty rare? One reason why people lie is that they think honesty is rare!
If you enjoyed reading the reasons why people lie, here is a video of me telling you the truth about honesty in today’s world:
