I have taken leaps of faith many times, but there are things and situations that I still find terrifying. Here is how to overcome fears to achieve more in life.
Why is it important to know how to overcome fears? You won’t be able to do most of what you want if you don’t overcome fears.
I know that because I was socially anxious and shy, so I feared a lot of things! Many things made me nervous!
I had personal issues that stopped me from taking risks. But I didn’t like the feeling, so I did what I could to overcome it.
Here is how to overcome fears:
- Disconnect from yourself. Look at yourself from an outside perspective.
- Fear suffocates us. You will be able to breathe properly on the other side.
- Don’t listen to that voice that says things could go wrong.
- You don’t have to overcome all of your fears.
Let’s begin.
How to Overcome Fears and Achieve More in Life
New people, situations, and environments make people nervous because there is uncertainty. What if it didn’t work out? What if it turned out to be not as good as the old one?
I am an introvert, and many of the things I feared back then were connected to socializing. Even being around people was scary to me!
I also cared so much about other people’s opinions. I was scared of disappointing them. It sucks to be a people-pleaser because it limits you.
I lived many years of my past life inside my comfort zone. In fact, back then, “step out of your comfort zone” was the second on the list of the phrases I always heard.
“Why are you so quiet?” was the first.
Diary of an Introvert has 220 ideas on how to respond to the question introverts are tired of hearing: “Why are you so quiet?”
Sometimes, people stay in their comfort zones not because they are not willing to change. They just don’t want pressure, so telling them to “take risks” will not work.
The person needs to be ready to overcome fears to overcome fears. Are you ready?
The process is uncomfortable because, of course, we are talking about fears — the things that give you goosebumps and may make you lose your breath!
But changing your perspective can help you manage your discomfort. So, let us dive in! Here is how to overcome fears!
1. Disconnect from yourself. Look at yourself from an outside perspective.
I majored in political science in college. Political science is a field that is heavy on research papers, public speaking, and debates, so you must have some guts if you want to thrive.
I wasn’t a good student. I skipped classes, didn’t participate in recitations, never debated with anyone about a political issue, sucked at public speaking, etc.
There were worse students than me, so I didn’t feel bad about not being good enough. But I was ashamed that I couldn’t stand in front of a lot of people with confidence.
I knew I needed to fix it.
According to Reader’s Digest, being self-aware is important in personal development. If you don’t know how you behave, you will not know which behaviors to change.
I tried many different methods, but one thing that worked for me was disconnecting from myself.
It is nerve-wracking for an anxious person to be the center of attention. But try putting yourself in the audience’s shoes: The audience doesn’t care as much as you think.
You are an audience, too, so you should know that whatever the speaker does, you won’t think about it for a long time. Even if they tripped on the stage, you might laugh but you would forget it after a few minutes.
You are so nervous to be in the center because people are watching you, so you are self-conscious. If you are self-conscious, you want to do it perfectly.
That will put pressure on you.
Relax. Some people may judge you if you make mistakes, but they will likely be as nervous as you if they were in your position. Laugh it off and better luck next time!
2. Fear suffocates us. You will be able to breathe properly on the other side.
How to overcome fears? Sometimes, the answer is simply optimism.
If there is anything that you want to do but you are scared of doing it for some reason, don’t you feel suffocated?
When I quit my full-time job in August of 2022, I thought about it for 3 days.
It was not an easy decision because I was earning a lot at the time, so cutting that job off meant cutting out money from my life.
But my mental health was more important to me than money, so I quit.
You can leave a job if it is affecting your mental health, but don’t be like me who does it without a new job waiting. Psychology Today shares signs it’s time to quit a job.
I drafted a message telling my employer I would resign, but something was stopping me: It was my fear of being unemployed once again.
I have been unemployed many times, so I knew it wouldn’t kill me. However, I was hesitant because it was a major decision considering it was my main source of income.
But I felt that it was time to leave, and the feeling was strong. So, I cleared my mind and sent the message without a thought. I think I sent it with my eyes closed.
I think I made the right decision. My life became a bit unstable because I freelanced right after, but I felt free.
3. Don’t listen to that voice that says things could go wrong.
In 2017, I struggled to get a job after college. Thanks to my mom who was an administrator at an educational institution, I got a job after 4 months of unemployment.
But about a year later, I quit. I had a stressful boss, and the job wasn’t aligned with what I wanted in life. No one could change my mind about quitting because I was tired.
It was my last day, and I rested for a few weeks before I sent out job applications. I did that for 8 months. I couldn’t find a job once again, but my mom couldn’t save me anymore.
Luckily, an Australian company hired me. But after 5 months, someone told lies, and I was fired.
Even before the pandemic layoffs, I experienced being fired at work. It was without a warning, effective immediately. Psychology Today says it can be traumatic to some people.
A few days later, I was hired by an American digital marketing agency. But I quit after a year because of burnout and emotional turmoil, and I did it without any concrete plan.
Only a few left in my savings account, I was misled emotionally, I sacrificed some freelance clients because I couldn’t manage my workload, I struggled to look for new work because I couldn’t trust people, people wouldn’t leave me alone, and people left me alone.
I was so sad, especially when this website’s hosting was about to expire and I didn’t know where to get money. But I kept going. I couldn’t die because people around me would be sad if I died.
I was hired by a video marketing agency just enough time before the expiration of this website. That was after 7 months of unemployment.
But it came to a point where I was taken advantage of, and they were asking me to do things outside my job description. That was okay because I was grateful.
If you are doing many tasks outside your job description, they may be exploiting you. Limeade shares signs of being exploited at work.
I was able to renew this website, and that was a big deal to me.
But the boss was ungrateful, and I felt insulted and used. I resigned effective immediately, and then I cried because my life sucked.
Going through that destructive series of events broke my soul. It made me depressed because I was comparing myself to those who could easily find jobs.
After all of what I went through, I could weep, get mad at the world, blame others, or kill myself. But I don’t want to be miserable. And I am scared of dying.
But things will not go wrong if you don’t allow them to. In the midst of chaos, my passion projects were born.
4. You don’t have to overcome all of your fears.
I have rejected potential clients for the reason that I can’t talk to men over the phone. I haven’t been in a real relationship, so talking to a man around my age is something that triggers a certain feeling in me.
I find it intimate, and I know I am weird. Their voice feels so close to me, and I don’t want to be too close to anyone.
Here is an example of my response to them: “I am sorry but I am not comfortable talking to a man over the phone, and that is my issue, so I hope you don’t think I am being rude.”
I can talk to my guy friends, but if it is a guy I can potentially have a relationship with, I can’t. I think men’s voices are attractive, especially if it is deep and so manly.
One of the dangers of being single for so long is not knowing the difference between love and any feeling that causes spark.
I know those potential clients weren’t planning to date me whatsoever. But as I said, it is a personal issue. But by rejecting them, I am losing work opportunities.
Some of those potential clients were those I sent proposals to, so I was interested in the work. But I would rather fail to have them as my client than do something that I am not comfortable with.
While it is more mature to separate life and work, it is okay to say no and miss the opportunity because you are not supposed to overcome all of your fears.
I am scared of rodents, and that’s okay. I am scared of ghosts even though I love horror movies, and that’s okay. Some fears can’t be overcome, and that’s okay.
Last Words
I take a lot of risks, but I don’t do it without even thinking. I look at the possible consequences of possible actions before I make drastic changes in my life.
If you want to jump and leave your current life behind for something better, I suggest you save up some money to survive. Money isn’t the key to happiness, but I learned that it can quiet your worries.
If you don’t want to save up or can’t, don’t leave your job just yet. When I quit my full-time job in August of 2022, I had a freelance client.
Now you know how to overcome fears!
If you enjoyed reading how to overcome fears to achieve more in life, here is a video of me talking about the times I overcame my fear:
