How to move on? When we think about moving on, we think that we should forget the person. But that is wrong!
Many people want to but don’t know how to move on. I am one of those many people. Sometimes, I also wonder how to move on.
But I think we don’t need to know how to move on before we can do it. We will eventually forget about the pain if we continue trying to be okay.
But here are some things that might help you move forward:
- Don’t be in a place or situation that reminds you of them.
- You can’t move on because it still hurts. Others can’t move on because their conscience bothers them. You are in a better position.
- You can never forget unless you lose your memory, but you can put some people in the past and let them stay there.
- It is okay to cry if it is still painful, but take forward steps.
Let’s begin.
How to Move On and What Moving On Really Means
If moving on means forgetting, I haven’t moved on. But that is not what moving on really is. You can move on and still think about the person.
I am in my late 20s, and I have liked 10+ people since I knew that I could ever have feelings for someone. It was in puberty. High school.
Some feelings were not serious enough for me to need to move on, but some were. I have moved on from some, but I have not forgotten them.
I think it is impossible to forget someone without a serious brain-related medical issue. We can only forget those we didn’t store in our memory.
According to Cleveland Clinic, there are 2 types of memory loss: acute memory loss, commonly known as amnesia, and progressive memory loss under which Alzheimer’s disease falls.
Think about the strangers you meet every day, or the person who took your order in a restaurant you visited only once in your entire life.
You can’t recall what they look like because you didn’t pay attention.
So, how to move on? The first thing you need to know is that it is not dependent on your memory. Forgetting is not part of the process!
Read on to learn more about how to move on and what moving on means!
1. Don’t be in a place or situation that reminds you of them.
How to move on? Don’t be in a place that reminds you of them or where they go often. It will be difficult to move on if you see them every day!
I had feelings for someone back in college, and it started during the last months of my second year on a bus. He gave his seat to me, so he caught my attention.
Hopeless romantics love the idea of love, and chivalry makes their heart flutter. mindbodygreen shares signs you might be one.
I didn’t love him, but the feelings were strong enough to the point that I thought I would like him for many, many years. Until I die even.
Even though 4 years were many years, the feelings started to subside a few months after we graduated in 2017. We went our separate ways.
I think “absence makes the heart grow fonder” only applies to deep love, romantic or not. My feelings were not deep, so his absence made it easier for me to forget.
If someone’s absence affects you a great deal and even makes you cry that it is hard to breathe, maybe you love that person, and it is deep.
But if you didn’t love the person, you would be able to move on, especially if there is someone new. But don’t use someone else to move on!
2. You can’t move on because it still hurts. Others can’t move on because their conscience bothers them. You are in a better position.
I am hurting when I think about the people who hurt me, but that is better than being bothered by your conscience because you hurt the person.
I think dealing with guilt because you caused people pain is harder than mending your broken heart because people did you wrong.
If you have a broken heart and you don’t know what to do to heal it, Today has a guide on how to get over a heartbreak.
I bet there are people who still think about me because of what they did to me. And I bet there are people you still think of because of what you did to them.
That is why you shouldn’t do something that puts other people at a disadvantage. Be fair and considerate, and think about the consequences of your actions.
Not necessarily to keep people around you safe, but so that you don’t be bothered by your conscience. Peace of mind is great!
3. You can never forget unless you lose your memory, but you can put some people in the past and let them stay there.
When we think about moving on, we think that we should forget the person. And that if we still haven’t forgotten them, then we haven’t moved on.
But moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, although it is good if it does.
I think about the person I had feelings for in college sometimes, as well as those other people I had crushes on. But I know I have moved on.
It would feel nice if we crossed paths again, but I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with them if they wanted to even though I liked them in the past.
My past self was the one who liked them. I have grown, so my preferences changed. Power of Positivity says that when you have outgrown your surroundings, your interests will change.
Their presence would simply make me remember my past self.
If my future husband knew our story, he might feel jealous and worry that I might leave him for them if it turned out that they have been liking me ever since.
But I would just laugh if that happened.
My feelings for my past crushes were all in the past, and I don’t have any plan on resurrecting those feelings. I have moved on.
4. It is okay to cry if it is still painful, but take forward steps.
It will be more difficult to move on if you keep everything to yourself, so cry if you want to cry and talk if you want to talk.
I don’t talk about my feelings to people and I also cry secretly like you, but writing about my feelings on this blog has been helping me.
It is better if there is someone willing to listen, but it is not like we have the courage to be vulnerable in the first place.
We complain that no one listens, but do we even want to talk? People are complicated. You can start journaling if you want to ease the pain.
Journaling helps you keep track of your thoughts, feelings, and even your actions. It depends on what you write in the journal. Psychology Today shares good reasons to keep a journal.
Pain is an ugly feeling, but if you are in pain, don’t think that there is anything bad about it. That is part of being human.
All people feel pain and have stories that make them feel miserable.
Some people just prefer not to talk about their stories, and prefer that you don’t talk about yours when you are with them.
Last Words
Constantly dwelling on the past can prevent you from fully experiencing and enjoying the present moment. Getting stuck sucks!
It is important to learn how to move on because staying stuck in the past can lead to emotional turmoil and mental health issues, such as depression.
You have a choice. It may still be painful, but allowing the pain to stop you from making progress is something you will regret in the future.
What do you feel after knowing how to move on?
If you enjoyed reading how to move on and what moving on really means, here is a video of me that I was able to produce because I moved forward:
