If you are vulnerable, you face the fear of rejection. It makes you stronger than those who hide their feelings! Know how to be vulnerable and build real connections with everyone below!
How to be vulnerable and build real connections with everyone around you? If you are the type of person who is not comfortable with emotions, you are not alone.
As people grow older, they meet more and more people who tell them, “You are so emotional” or similar. Many, actually, downright invalidate their feelings.
They hear it many times, so they will eventually think they must be right. “Maybe I am emotional, but being emotional is bad, so I should stop showing emotions.”
I am vulnerable now — overly vulnerable in fact. Here is how to be vulnerable and build real connections with everyone:
- Have an outlet where you can freely express yourself.
- Those who show emotions are stronger than those who don’t.
- Those who have nothing or less to hide are more free.
- You don’t need to be vulnerable to everyone.
Let’s begin.
How to Be Vulnerable and Build Real Connections With Everyone
“It satisfies my heart to meet people who are not afraid to be vulnerable because that’s one thing that I’m not.” That is the first line in my bio (and I think it is wordy).
I have an avoidant personality, but it is not as severe as before. I grew up socially anxious, and I had difficult friendships. I have moved on, but it is still part of me.
I can’t connect with people on a deeper level because I was “abandoned” and “rejected” in the past. That’s why I can easily cut them off.
I may have a fear of abandonment.
According to Healthline, one of the common reasons why people fear abandonment is that they have been abandoned in the past, and they are scared it will happen again.
But I can tell you personal things about me, and I may even cry while I tell the stories. I can be very vulnerable and build real connections if the connection is not for the long term.
Being vulnerable allows you to connect, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will develop a relationship with the person.
You can connect with strangers you meet while you are solo traveling, at a conference, or while getting some fresh air outside. But you don’t need to be their best friend, or even add them on Facebook.
I am connecting with you through this blog, but I don’t even know who you are!
Many people are scared to be vulnerable because they think whatever they tell will be used against them. Maybe someone betrayed them in the past; we don’t know.
I had that fear. I thought that my life was so precious that others would want to ruin it. But truth be told, people care more about themselves than others.
They don’t think about you 24/7.
When I started sharing personal stories on this blog, I was not exposing too much of myself because I didn’t want to be vulnerable.
If you can assess writing styles, you will see that my recently published posts were more personal than the ones I published in 2021.
Learning to be vulnerable is a slow, uncomfortable process. This is especially true if you have been traumatized by the “feelings are for the weak” accusations.
Do you still want to learn how to be vulnerable and build real connections with everyone? If so, scroll down!
1. Have an outlet where you can freely express yourself.
Before you build real connections with everyone, have an outlet where you can freely express yourself so that you can build a connection with yourself.
It is not advisable to take a huge step and be vulnerable with others if you are not used to it. What if they reject your vulnerability? It will take a toll on you.
The best activity I can think of is journaling. Journaling is not an exciting activity for many, but even therapists suggest it to their patients because it works.
Journaling helps you keep track of your thoughts, feelings, and even your actions. It depends on what you write in the journal. Psychology Today shares good reasons to keep a journal.
I don’t do journaling per se, but I write about my life experiences, feelings, and thoughts on the internet. The effect is similar.
Basically, the goal of journaling is for you to look at your feelings and thoughts to ensure you are aware of them.
People tend to ignore everything simmering inside them because it makes them feel uncomfortable. But that’s not going to help them have a good relationship with themselves.
Being vulnerable is being more open. If you feel something, you will allow yourself to feel it. If you think of something, you will act on it if needed.
And you will do it with little to no resistance. You will feel the feelings and express them when appropriate. You will talk about your thoughts if people ask for them.
2. Those who show emotions are stronger than those who don’t.
If you decide based on emotions, the decision will likely not be the best for the situation. This is why emotionless people often have the upper hand: They are more logical.
I don’t disagree because logical actions reap good results in most situations, especially at work.
But when it comes to building real connections with people, emotions are required. Would you want to be with someone who is cold and ignores you? No.
According to PsychCentral, emotional connection is a human need. Try to lock yourself in a room for a week, and don’t talk to anyone. You will be depressed after a few days.
The most common reason why people hide their feelings is fear of rejection: rejection by their peers, their family, and even strangers.
In that case, if someone freely expresses themselves, it means that they are choosing to face that fear of rejection. Aren’t they stronger than those who wear masks?
Everyone feels, but those who can express what they feel are stronger for sure. Vulnerability is strength.
3. Those who have nothing or less to hide are more free.
If you are hiding something, you are hiding it because you are ashamed of it. You think people will dislike you once they discover it. You care about what people think.
I put other people on a pedestal back then. Every move I took must be to their liking. Honestly, that was suffocating. Aren’t you suffocated?
Those who have nothing or less to hide are more free.
Exposing a huge part of yourself opens you to pain because, well, they can use your story against you. But acceptance of your imperfections can build your inner strength.
Lifehack says that if you have inner strength, you are self-assured and self-motivated. You can do whatever you want without caring about what others will think, especially if you fail.
No one is perfect. Some people are just good at hiding their dirt. But they hide it because they are ashamed of it, and it will be a burden until they talk about it.
If you want to be indestructible, you need to expose your dirt.
If you want to live freely, tell people your embarrassing story and bring the skeleton out of your closet voluntarily so that when they mention it, it will not faze you. If they try to bring it up, you already did.
4. You don’t need to be vulnerable to everyone.
You don’t need to be vulnerable to the person taking your orders, that man over there who is creepy, the client you are working with, your boss, and the people you don’t jive with.
I am vulnerable, but a lot of people think I am snobbish because I ignore people. And that is okay because I decide who to talk to and smile to.
And it is not like everyone can deal with other people’s vulnerability.
In this article by PsychCentral, people invalidate other people’s feelings because they have a lot in their mind or their life, and they can’t afford to think about others.
If you want to learn how to be vulnerable so you can build real connections, others don’t share the same feeling. They would rather keep themselves to themselves.
So, don’t share your personal stories with everyone, especially if the mood is inappropriate for a heart-to-heart talk. You will confuse them, and then they will say, “You are too emotional.”
That’s the sentence you want to avoid.
Last Words
If you have a child, don’t make them feel like it is bad to have emotions and show them. If all parents do this, the future will be filled with compassionate, empathetic individuals.
This is especially important if you have a son. Society expects the male population to be strong and emotionless, and many of them overdo it that’s why they become abusive.
Females can be abusive, too, but more males are abusive based on studies. Tell them it is okay to be vulnerable, and the world will be a better place.
Are you ready to be vulnerable?
If you enjoyed reading how to be vulnerable and build real connections with people, here is a video of me talking about how I became comfortable with my emotions:
