When you look good, people treat you differently even if you are just breathing. Let us talk about how looks affect confidence and how to be more confident!
Wondering how looks affect confidence? Look good, feel good. But looking good doesn’t necessarily mean you must be catching a lot of eyeballs.
It is nice if you are attractive based on society’s standards of beauty. If not, changing how you carry and take care of yourself can boost confidence!
Here are ways to be more confident:
- Clean yourself up because looking clean is attractive.
- If your imperfections can be fixed, fix them. If not, embrace it.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Be better than other people at an activity.
- If people bring up your past, they think you have become better.
- Don’t be afraid to be hated, wrong, or ignored.
Let’s begin.
How Looks Affect Confidence and How to Be More Confident
I know what unattractive people feel because I was unattractive. It is not their fault that they were not born with good looks, right?
But why do they have to deal with unpleasant stuff such as not being desirable or not being good enough for certain people?
And that affects their confidence.
Honestly, my unattractiveness was one of the factors that lowered my self-esteem back then. People thought I wasn’t good at anything, so I thought the same.
They loved pointing out my flaws and telling me I was worse than others, so I thought I was such a failure.
The bitter words coming out of their mouths made me mad at the world and hate myself, but I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t think I had the right to fight back.
I felt like they were right about everything.
Psychology Today says that being angry at those who insult you is a weak response, even though it seems powerful.
But life happens. People mature. As I mature, I look better. Turns out I am a late bloomer. And I think that it is better to be a late bloomer than an early riser.
As I have observed, many of those who peaked in high school lost their charm when they turned into adults. Sad but true.
I am not going to lie. Presently, I know I look better than others because I see how people behave around me, and they stare at me.
I am not blind, and I don’t want to pretend not to know just to appear humble in front of you. You can judge me.
You knew how looks affect confidence. Now, how can you be more confident?
1. Clean yourself up because looking clean is attractive.
If you don’t possess attractive facial and body features, you can simply aim to look decent or clean because it helps.
Personally, I don’t care about good looks, but whether the person looks clean or not matters to me. It can overshadow your ugliness (sorry for the word).
There were instances wherein I got attracted to someone who wasn’t handsome but seemed handsome because he looked clean.
So, how do you clean yourself up? I think hair is a good example because that is a controversial part of the human body.
I don’t think body hair is bad because that is part of being human, whether it be mine or someone else’s. I also have nothing against facial hair.
Yahoo! conducted a survey on women’s body hair, and the most common area they remove body hair from is the armpit.
But I think it is good to pay attention to the hair that is exposed, especially if it looks disastrous, so that you don’t look like you don’t take care of yourself.
Apart from hair, people who smell good are attractive, too. Take a shower every day or every other day depending on your routine or your body odor.
2. If your imperfections can be fixed, fix them. If not, embrace it.
We are talking about physical appearance, right?
Among my insecurities back then were my acne-prone skin, my teeth, some skin discolorations, and — I can’t believe I’m going to talk about this here — I am not flat-chested but they are small for an adult.
I fixed my “imperfections” except for my small chest. I just embraced that. But I admit I once considered breast implants when I was a teenager.
FDA says you could have breast implant associated-anaplastic large cell lymphoma, a cancer of the immune system, with breast implants.
Some female friends were pointing that out (because theirs were bigger) but I just kept saying to them, “I don’t need big boobs to survive.” Fact!
At least mine will look cute for a long time.
Imperfections are normal. Emphasize your assets and flaunt them so people can see what you have instead of what you lack.
3. Surround yourself with positive people.
If you don’t want to improve yourself, you can simply surround yourself with people who will accept you for what you are.
But I think it is better to be around those who want you to be a better person.
The thing about true friendship is that it is about helping a person change but without touching on who they are at the core.
It is like, “I accept you for who you are as a person, but please change your bad habits and bad behavior because those are ruining you and harming others.”
Verywell Mind has a list of signs that a friend is toxic.
What has a huge impact on a person’s confidence is whether or not the words they hear are positive or negative.
Obviously, if you only hear criticism and insults, that will make you less confident in yourself. Choose your friends wisely!
Also, it is important that you are a positive person. Smile in appropriate situations, and have a more flexible way of thinking.
If something good happens, good. If it is bad, try to look deep into the situation because there might be some good lessons there.
4. Be better than other people at an activity.
For sure, there is something you are good at. Maybe you have a talent or a skill that not a lot of people possess.
If one’s weakness is your strength, rest assured that you are needed and, quite possibly, admired. Being good at something is attractive!
There are things I am not good at, and I look up to and admire those who can do what I can’t do, like dealing with lots of people without getting exhausted.
If you are an introvert and the situation calls for “extroverted” responses, Harvard Business Review says you should take a break after!
If you are better than other people at a particular subject, you feel good and proud. If you feel confident in your work, you feel more confident as a person.
You might be thinking you are trash and should disappear from Earth, but you can’t see yourself from other people’s points of view.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Someone out there thinks you are a great person. You can’t see them because you are busy criticizing yourself.
5. If people bring up your past, they think you have become better.
Many of us are embarrassed about our past. Some people will use it as a weapon to hurt you, make you feel bad about yourself, or ruin your happiness.
You have moved forward but they have not.
According to WebMD, immature people lack the emotional and social skills expected from an adult.
They can’t accept that your life seems to be going in a positive direction while they are still at the same place all this time, so they want to bring up your gloomy days in hopes that those would kill the spark in your life.
I am not saying these are bad people because there are reasons why people are who they are. Behind most bad deeds are unresolved issues that need fixing.
So, many of these people are just unhealed and immature.
6. Don’t be afraid to be hated, wrong, or ignored.
You would not care about what people say if you were not self-conscious.
If you have the courage to be disliked, hated, wrong, or ignored, all the unpleasant words you hear will not affect you.
You can’t please everyone, and that is cliché.
Last Words
I think the ultimate effortless confidence booster is being physically attractive. When you look good, people treat you differently even if you are just breathing.
As much as possible, they want to be on your good side. I have experienced that many times. People treat good-looking people better than the average ones.
If people look at you in that way, like you are a goddess or a special person, that is an ego boost, so you become more confident.
If you don’t have good looks, as mentioned earlier, looking good can simply mean looking decent and clean, so don’t feel hopeless.
Did this article help you understand how looks affect confidence?
If you enjoyed reading how looks affect confidence and how to be more confident, here is a video of me sharing my thoughts on society’s beauty standards:
