We can only get married once, and we must make the right choice if we don’t want to get stuck in a bad relationship. Divorce is illegal in the Philippines, and here is how it affects my choices.
Divorce is illegal in the Philippines. How does it affect me, especially my choices?
I wanted to talk about marriage because many nights ago, I found myself thinking about my possible future marriage, and I was crying as I was doing so.
I got emotional because, for me, getting married means leaving my mom, my little brother, my other brothers, and our house.
But it is mostly because of my mother. I am emotionally connected to her.
I have been with my mom since I was born, so leaving her to create a life with my future husband will be painful.
I am sure I will cry a lot, especially in the first year. I need to make sure my future husband is reliable.
Even though I am not 100% sure if I am going to get married, the thought crosses my mind. I have thought of what I would do if I ended up marrying the wrong one.
I could choose to get married in a country where divorce is allowed.
But my mind would be ultra-positive when the actual thing happened, so I wouldn’t even think of the worst scenarios. It would also be quite expensive.
If I decide to marry someone from outside the Philippines, we can get married in his country so that I could easily break things off if he messed up.
Or he could easily dump me if I messed up. I know I have faults.
But if I were to marry someone from here, in the Philippines, then there is a high chance that getting married here, and in church, is the only option.
But divorce is illegal in the Philippines. What if he “changed”? How could I turn back the time and unmarry him? I don’t want to be stuck in a bad relationship.
I have a solution: to not get married in the first place. Right!
Divorce Is Illegal in the Philippines: How It Affects Me
I have been single since 2010, so the illegality of divorce is not the only thing that makes me hesitant to commit.
I am not used to sharing my life with someone; that is a much bigger factor that affects my choices. I am selfish when it comes to myself.
Still, the absence of divorce in the Philippines affects how I look at relationships. I am 27 and at the right age for marriage.
I don’t entertain “potential boyfriends” I don’t consider “marriage material.”
I am not scared of being single and alone until I die because that is better than being with someone who will just ruin the rest of my life.
So, I tend to be very picky. I have been picky ever since.
There were times in the past when I could have been in a relationship but had chosen not to because of my standards.
I take relationships seriously, and that annoys me a bit because — GOSH — I have zero experience! Who cares, though?
I factor in whether the “potential boyfriend” could be a good husband during the talking stage. Usually, I don’t level up our talking because we don’t meet eye to eye.
I know I am the problem, but that saves us heartaches.
I am filtering out those who don’t have the same goal as me, so I am doing what I can as early as now to save my future self from a situation that could make her want to divorce someone.
You may not be agreeing with how I do things, but that is the point of this blog post.
Divorce is illegal in the Philippines, and it is the only country where divorce is illegal. It would be hard for a non-Philippine resident to understand us.
We, if not most of us, can’t marry someone the moment we feel intense emotions for the person, or if we want to lessen the struggles we deal with due to adulting.
Unlike in other countries where divorce is allowed, we take marriage more seriously because there is no way out.
Marriage in the Philippines is so sacred. When things go south, married couples hold on and get through things together. Although some people do it alone.
Other people can simply break up with their spouse for good through a divorce. But divorce in the Philippines is illegal.
Married couples will remain legally and spiritually connected until death because the separation that occurs is on a physical level. Unless annulment is possible.
For most of us, we can only get married once, so we must not make mistakes in the beginning if we want to be happily married until the end of time.
Which is why I don’t just get involved with anyone.
I am not against divorce. But if I were to get married, I would be okay with getting married in the Philippines.
That seems risky because I can’t leave and forget when things turn sour.
However, I would not agree to get married in the first place if I was not seeking a lifelong commitment with that person.
Actually, I would not enter into a relationship with him in the first place if I didn’t see a potential future with him.
My decision alone to leave the single life will be an indication that I want him to be my husband and the father of my children, through thick and thin.
Last Words
I haven’t introduced any boyfriend (crushes, yes) to my family, so it will be big news once I do. Will I hear praises or criticism? I wonder.
But what will matter at that time is what my mother thinks. She will not send me off to anyone who will do what my father did.
Divorce in the Philippines is illegal, so we must be careful when choosing a partner.
If you enjoyed reading how the illegality of divorce in the Philippines affects me, especially my choices, here is a video of me talking about marriage:
